Harry Potter, King of the world
by Ferz
Summary: A crackfic. Harry comes back in the Wizarding World after 200 years. Immortal!Harry. SuperPowerful!Harry Master of Death!Harry
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : I'm sadly not JK Rowling, you can draw your own conclusions about who owns HP and who doesn't.**

**This fic will probably stay a One Shot, although I might end up writing some other chapters, but in that case it will probably be just some insights in the past or future of my Harry, not an actual story with chapters following each other.**

**Have fun reading !**

**Oh and this is a translation of my own fic in French, called Harry Potter Roi du Monde, since French is my first language. I will probably post the new chapters first there, but I will make an effort to translate them quickly (probably in the same week), if I add new chapters at all.**

** Ferz**

** ...**

Harry sighed. He would have rather entered the Ministry using the cabin phone he had used for the first time so many years ago with Arthur Weasley. Sadly all the cabin phones in London had disappeared since last he was here and the one protecting the entrance of the Ministry had gone too.

What was he to do now ?

He thought then about not going, but he had decided to do it and he would. It was harder and harder to step out of his apathy and the letter from the Ministry had come exactly at the right time.

"Sir,

It has come to our notice that a non registered wizard live at these coordinates. Please come to the Ministry on April the 19th at two and a half PM to register your home as a Wizard Residence.

Respectfully yours,

Mrs Hedna Pomfrey, Head of Magical Housings,

Ministry of Magic,

London"

So… how could he enter the Ministry ?

He knew that public toilets had been used as floo entrance for the Ministry workers, but he could not have remembered where they were even if his life had depended on the matter. And he wasn't even sure they were still in use.

Oh, well. So much for discretion. Harry apparated.

His arrival was quite naturally noticed, as it involved the immediate destruction of all the protective and anti-intrusion wards on the Ministry building, thus a eardrum-shattering thunder and probably a small earthquake. As wizards and witches threw themselves on the floor (or fell because of the earth moving under their feet, Harry couldn't be sure) his very own self appeared in the middle of the Auditorium.

Immediately ten aurors drew their wands at him. Harry noticed interestedly that their robes were not red anymore but blue. There was also a new fashion, the robes were more open on the front and hanged on the floor behind the wizards.

- Ah, sorry for bothering you, Harry said, brushing his fingers through his hair. I couldn't find the entrance.

- Wand and Wizarding ID number ? a read haired auror shouted.

Harry sent him a blank look.

- Hm, I have no idea what you are talking about, sorry. And I don't have a wand.

The aurors were obviously thrown off balance by that statement.

- And I'm really not here to cause any harm, Harry said. I received a letter asking me to come, but I couldn't find the entrance…

- So you decided to tear apart all the wards on the Ministry ? a frowning man asked.

- Well, if I hadn't I would have missed my appointment. I had decided to come, so… well.

- And you don't have an ID number ?

- Hm… What is that ?

- What the… are you an idiot ? ID Numbers have been used for half a century ! I wouldn't have thought anyone can still be unaware of them. Anywhere.

- I was on vacation ? Harry answered, a friendly smile on his lips. The dozen wands pointed towards him didn't bother him much, but he would en up late if these guys kept this up. He didn't want to be late for the first appointment he had in three - or was it four ? – years.

- Name, an auror ordered in a grunt.

- You know, you shouldn't be so tense, gentlemen, Harry answered, it's not good for your health, if you want m…

- Your. Name.

- Ah, Harry James Potter. These aurors were frankly impolite.

There was a silence.

Harry waited for someone to answer, but the aurors were looking at him a bit too strangely for it to be a good sign. He would have thought that they would forget him, after so many years. It had been what, two hundred years, give or take a few, since he had left the wizarding world ? In his time the wizard's memory lasted less than a month, but apparently things changed. Or maybe he was in a parallel universe.

- Well ? Is there a problem ? The brunette asked. I can go, if you want, but you will have to explain what happened to the woman I'm supposed to meet.

- Would you agree to a scan test to verify that you are who you say you are, sir ? The chief of the small auror group asked, a lot more politely than before.

- Yes, I guess. And then you will let me go to my meeting ? I will end up late, you know ?

There was a silence, then the chief nodded to one of his aurors, who left, presumably to get the thing which would help them scan his aura to verify his identity. Since the man was taking some time to come back Harry conjured a comfy chair with a wave of his hand and sat, summoning an apple from the fruit basket he kept at home. He bit the fruit, waiting, while the earth shook a bit due to Harry having to destroy and recreate the Ministry wards again to summon his apple.

Then the auror finally came back, holding a metal cube. He gave it to Harry who looked at it from every angle, turning it in his hands interestedly.

- Is it a welcoming gift ? It's nice, really, but I thought we were testing my identity. Well, it will make a good spoon holder.

- Put it on the palm of your hand, hold it in front of you and say your complete name and your date of birth.

- Harry James Potter, July 31st 1980.

The cube glowed white for a few seconds and turned off again.

- Is that it ? Harry asked. Can I go now ?

But the aurors had started watching Harry weirdly again, and he had absolutely no clue to what it meant.

- So, I'm going to go to my appointment, then, Harry said simply, walking between the unmoving aurors.

If Harry hadn't known better he would have thought they had been cursed. Maybe someone had created a silent and invisible impero ? What an interesting idea.

He was a bit late, and he had had to ask two people for directions to get there, but he was at his appointment. Mission accomplished.

A woman, probably Hedna Pomfrey, if you believed the name tag on her desk, invited him in politely. Wizards didn't shake hands, too much danger could come of such a touch, so he sat after she nodded from him to the chair.

- You are the wizard residing at XXX ? the woman asked, looking at the piece of parchment in front of her.

- Yep.

- Good. What is you ID Number ?

- Again ? Harry sighed. I don't know, I'm not sure I have one.

The woman frowned.

- How old are you ? Wizarding ID numbers have been automatically issued for every wizard and witch born after 2072, Sir.

- Oh, well, I was born in 1980. I know, I don't look a day over a hundred.

Harry didn't look a day over 17, but well, near enough.

It was weird, but it wasn't completely crazy in the wizarding world, where you could find yourself turned to a potato if you ate the wrong pastry.

- Very well. Name and date of birth, please.

The woman took her quill and put filled it with ink while waiting for his answer.

- Harry Potter, July 31st, 1980.

The quill fell from the woman's hand. Frankly Harry thought all of this was a bit dramatic. Yes, he hadn't had any contact with the Ministry of Magic for a while, but he had thought his fame would decrease after he left. Apparently the wizards didn't forget his name.

- Do you have any proof of your identity ?

- The aurors in the auditorium did something with a glowing magic cube.

Ok, it had seamed less stupid in his head.

The woman looked at him like she was trying to see if he was joking of not.

That the moment ten people chose to enter the room.

- Excuse me, Harry said politely, I know I was a bit late, but my appointment isn't finished yet. If you could wait for a bit, I would really appreciate it.

Harry smiled to the newcomers and summoned another apple from his home. The wizards and witches around him flinched when the ground shook.

Sadly none of them appeared to want to leave. Harry bit in his apple.

- Sir, your identity has been confirmed as Lord Potter, a man said. I'm very honored to meet you.

- Ah, thanks, I guess. And you are ?

There was a long silence in the room, but the man finally answered.

- I'm the British Magical Prefect, Lord Potter.

- Magical Prefect ? What does it mean ?

The silence lasted longer, this time.

- The title of Magical Prefect replaced that of Minister of Magic a century ago, Lord Potter, the man answered after some time.

- Really ? Was there any special reason for the change ? Frankly, I think I prefer Minister to Prefect, it's clearer.

The silence seamed to resonate in the air.

- Did I say something ? Harry asked while passing his hand fingers his hair to check if he didn't suddenly have a second head. In the wizarding world when a crowd looked at you like you just grew another head, it could sometimes be because it was the case. No, just the usual one. So, what ?

- Lord Potter, the title of Magical Prefect was implemented after unifying the magical countries in the Global Magical State.

- Oh, really ? There is a Global Magical state ? Cool.

A new man entered the room, surrounded by white clothed men. They looked very cool, Harry thought.

- Mister Vice President, the British Magical prefect said, nodding to the man.

- Prefect Spinett, the newcomer answered with an accented voice while watching Harry. Sir, I am Alexander Bjord, Vice President of the Magical Global State. It is a great honor to meet you.

- Really ? Ok, I wouldn't know, I've never met myself. So, could someone explain to me why exactly my appointment to make sure my home is not invaded by aurors has been interrupted by…

Harry waved to all the newcomers, eyebrow raised.

The Vice President spoke, but obviously not to really Harry.

- He doesn't know ?! the man exclaimed, apparently shocked. Harry wasn't exactly sure, his accent made it hard to be certain.

- What don't I know ? I hope I'm not Enemy number 1 again, it would be a bit inconvenient. Well, mostly it would be embarrassing for you. It sucks if you have a Public Enemy Number 1 and the guy doesn't even know about it.

- How can you not know ?!

This time Harry was quite sure the man was shoked. His accent couldn't hide long the fact that he was currently pulling his hair from his head. Harry hoped there were potions for that kind of things, the man wasn't exactly handsome with hair, he didn't want to guess what he would look like bald.

- If I knew what you're saying I don't know maybe I would tell you why I don't know it, if I know.

Even for Harry, that was a bit complex.

- I am Vice President of the Global Magical State, Lord Potter, the man said. It is the highest elected position in the government.

Harry frowned thoughtfully.

- Shouldn't it be President, logically ?

There was a long silence.

- The President isn't elected.

- oh… Isn't it a bit undemocratic ?

The silence lasted.

- Lord Potter, you have obviously been… away from the wizarding world for some time. The Global Magical State was created in 2014, after our ancestors noticed that all wizards and witches all over the world suffered from the same illness, their magic slowly dissolving. After a year of intensive international research, the source of the illness was found.

Harry frowned.

- I wasn't sick, I think.

- It would be logical, Lord Potter, as the cause of the illness was a Life Debt owed to you.

- A life debt ? From whom ? What for ?

- At the time no one knew exactly, but later research has showed that Lord Voldemort, just before his demise, had created a magical device which he intended to use on the entire world. The rituals were drawn all over the globe, but it wasn't finished at the time you defeated him. The historians consider now that Lord Voldemort wanted to use this device to stop the birth of any new First Generation Wizard. But the ritual was flawed, and it wouldn't have just stopped muggleborns from being born, it would have simply killed all the living wizards and witches. So by killing Lord Voldemort you saved all the wizards of the planet.

Ok, that made sense, sort of. And it explained this Life Debt thing. A life debt, if it wasn't replayed after a while, had grave consequences on the owing wizard. But he couldn't see how wizards could have payed a Life Debt to him when he wasn't there to accept the terms.

- Well, you still have your magic, so I guess the problem was resolved.

- When the cause of the illness was found and it was determined that the debt had to be repaid to you, every wizard on the planet searched for you. Everyone failed.

Hm, yes. If he remembered correctly he fell in an active volcano in 2009, not being able to get out of it until 2017. Well, he had been unconscious for most of it, so he didn't suffer much, and afterwards it was really cool to discover the changed world. These days Harry was actually thinking about jumping in a volcano on purpose to find something interesting to do when he woke up.

- But we were sure that you were alive, since the Life Debt was still active. So it was decided that, to try and content the Life Debt without your agreement, every wizard would swear obedience to you.

…

…

…

WTF ?!

Ok. Stay calm, Harry. It was more than a century ago, most of the wizards of the time are long dead. It's not an issued anymore.

- It was discovered afterwards that, technically, the wizards being born today still owe you their life, so…

Harry didn't listen to the end of the speech. He understood.

Oh.

Ok.

Harry was king of the world.

…

In your teeth, Voldemort !

- We thought that after a while your death would stop the Life Debt, but…

- I'm not dead, Harry said.

- Well, yes.

- So, President ?

- Yes, Mr President.

- And I can't, I don't know, say the life Debt is void now ?

- No, Sir. Even if it applies to every wizard it's just one Debt, and can thus be repaid by one way only. If a wizard doesn't swear obedience to you on his magic, it dies. Some muggleborns have refused to sworn, preferring to become squibs instead, but that's it. The debt won't end until your death.

Ok, that was a slight issue.

- I can't die, Harry said. Sometimes honesty went a long way.

The answering silence told Harry that sometimes honesty just should be kept to oneself. Well, too late now anyway.

- At all ? someone asked.

- At all. I was beheaded. Twice.

- Beheaded ?! exclaimed Hedna Pomfrey, looking horrified.

- Yes. The fist time was a dirty affair, with a half sharp ax. A long story about a card game ending badly. The second time guillotined.

- Guillotined ?!

Harry thought for a second that if the woman's eyes grew any biger they would explode.

- Yes, I was curious, then I tripped.

- You… you guillotined yourself !?

- It was an accident, Harry reminded her. He wasn't suicidal, even though that wouldn't change anything, really.

- Sooooo… this President thing, it doesn't mean I'll have stuff to do, right ?

...

**So ? did you like it ? Find it funny ? Found horrible mistakes in my English ? (it's not my first language, so please point any mistake you've seen, I'm happy to learn from them, I won't take any offense).**

**Please leave a review ^^**

**Ferz**


	2. Chapter 2 : Potatoes

**Here is my new chapter ! I hope you like it. As I answered most of you who asked it, I won't be writing a story which follows Harry chronologically. I do not think any good story can start with a character who is immortal, ultra powerful ****_and_**** has to be obbeyed by everyone. Sorry. But, if my muse visits me and I write some bits and pieces of this Harry's life, I will publish them.**

**Harry Potter, King of the world**

**Chapter 2 : Potatoes**

Harry was watching his potato plants grow. It was one of his favourite activities, these days. There was not too much action, certainly, and from time to time his magic acted on its own and burned one of the plants to a crisp (a bad habit it had developed after Harry had tried for eight to create a potato species that would grow baked potatoes in the ground). However it was much more interesting than watching his tomato plants grow, as his magic, no matter how much he had attempted to change its bad habits, had never accepted that he really preferred burning tomato plants rather than potato plants.

A small blue worm highlighted by little red triangles began to slowly eat one of the potato plant's leaves. Harry looked at it, eyes narrowing and brows furrowed, wondering how it could have escaped from its cage, and how it even ended up existing at all. He had been trying for 14 years to obtain such a worm, blue with red triangles, because he had determined that its DNA contained the cure of the Blue with red triangles Plague that was killing of the wizarding populations of Africa (or at the very least disfigured them enough that they couldn't go out with respectable non blue non red triangled people for the rest of their lives). He had managed to create blue worms with yellow dots and green ones with red triangles, but no matter how many times he interbred them, he always ended up with rainbow coloured useless ones (the Rainbow Plague had been cured for centuries now!). His thoughts were still at that stage when his magic had a boot of its little potato-plant-pyromania problem, sadly burning the worm in a hundredth of a second.

Harry kept starring where the outcome of 14 years of research and experiments had stood for a few seconds, then shrugged. These kind of things happened.

His monotonous flow of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by an unusual one.

"What if I decided that no one should use the word 'tomato' anymore?"

He thought about it.

Mmh…

Oh, there was the firs hitch. The wizards would eventually end up finding a new word for 'tomato'. It would definitely suck in a few years when nobody remembered the meaning of the word 'tomato'. What if he wanted to order tomatoes in a wizarding restaurant? And if he used the word 'tomato' by accident (it had happened) everyone would know who he was.

So, no.

This kind of thoughts came quite regularly since he had been made aware of the whole Life Debt thingy, and the Wizarding World President stuff. He had not yet decided what he was going to do with the fact. He had considered for a while travelling to another dimension, but he had absolutely no clue how to go there in the first place. And that was besides the fact that he didn't actually know there _were_ such things as other dimensions.

He shook his head. He had been thinking about these things by waves of thoughts for 27 years now. It was time to act. He transfigured a quill, parchment and some ink and sat in mid air.

So.

He started to write.

Miranda Melakov was sitting peacefully at her desk, watching her personal secretery shuffling through paperwork. Quite suddenly a sealed letter appeared between the Vice President of the Global Wizarding World's eyes, hovering there for a few seconds and obscuring her view, then dropping to her desk innocently, as if it hadn't just broken through the best security wards and services in the world (except perhaps Zambo's, the Magical Prefect of Tanzania, who was so paranoid he had imprisoned his shadow for attempting to murder him and who, since, used half his budget to pay for his personal security. Fortunately the death penalty had been outlawed in the wizarding world or he would have tried to have it executed, which would have inevitably brought unforeseen consequences. Anyway, his shadow had always been a bit shady, so who knew what had really happened… – and so she stared at the very suspicious letter and called her White Guards. They were the Global Government Aurors, and two of them were stationed at all times at her door. She pointed the letter to them after charming herself with a Bubblehead spell, which would allow her to breathe normally even if the letter emitted some kind of toxic gaz. The two men threw all the detection spells they knew at the letter and ended up undoing their own Bubblehead spells.

- The letter is written with conjured ink on conjured parchment, M'am, but that's it.

- And how do you explain it just appearing right in front of me? Inside my office!? She exclaimed. They were supposed to be professionals.

The men looked at each other, then the higher ranking one shrugged with a helpless look.

With a carefull levitation charm she turned the letter on which she had read 'To the Victe President of the Wizarding World' and looked at the sender's name.

She collapsed on her seat.

- Thank you, that will be all, she said after dropping her own bubblehead spell. She waited for the two men to leave, asked her secretary for a coffee and waited for him to leave too to open the leter.

"Sir,

If I have understood the situation correctly, I can decide whatever I want and the wizards have to obey. After some thought, I have decided on the following rules. Please publish them so that as many people can be made aware of them as possible, thank you.

- Nobody will use the word 'potato' on Tuesdays.

- The Quidditch game will from now on be played without the seeker and will end after a time lengths decided beforehand by the rules of the game. Those who want to can play seeker alone or make seeking races. But, really, when you think about it, except in very rare cases, the seekers could be the only ones on the pitch and it wouldn't change anything, and the position do not add anything to the team or need any team effort.

- No child shall be named a first name starting by the letter Y, except if he or she has three legs.

- All wizards and witches speaking to me, knowing who I am, will have to call me either "Harry" or "Great Venerated Master of supreme strength, with charisma equalling only that of the Olympian gods and with magic as incredible as a second dimension inhabited by the same people as the ones inhabiting ours but with spaghettis instead of hair".

Ok, that's it.

Harry Potter,

Wizarding World President (that's my title, right ?)

Ps : oh, I almost forgot, I also want you to free all House Elves who cant to be free. Thanks"

There was a scribbled signature, and that was it.

Miranda, just like every other wizard and witch for two hundred years, had been raised knowing she might one day encounter Harry Potter, and that if that happened she would have to obey everything he said, no question asked. Her own oath would force her to. If Harry Potter had not written this letter she would not have been currently experiencing a great need to apparate to her home and ask her House Elves if they wanted to be free. She looked at her calendar. It was a Tuesday.

She tried to say 'potato'.

- pota…

She sighed. Now, she would have to find a way to pass these new laws without creating mass panic. Wizards were generally stupid, but even they could understand that having to blindly obey someone who thought that the first absolute law to edict was that you should not use the word 'potato' on Tuesdays was not very good for your health.

But first, she had to speak with her House Elves.

**Here you are, hope you liked it ^^**

**Feel free to review ! As this is a translation and english is not my first language, if you see mistakes please point them out so I can better myself and correct them !**

**Also, as I am me, and absolutely awesome, as you can very well imagine, I can not guess how you could pass up on the incredible opportunity given to you to communicate with me. It's just there, yes, I know you can see the 'Review' button, do not lie to yourself, you want it, you want to press it, y****esssss, you ****_want_**** it, you ****_know_**** you ****_want_**** it.**

**Anyway... XP**

**Ferz**


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